The Girl With the Wonder in Her Eyes

Once upon a time
The wonder of this world
filled your eyes
with anticipation
and excitedness
and joy

Collecting leaves and drying flowers
and hours spent drawing
and coloring the wonder
your eyes captured
and took in

Backyard tea-parties
hosting stuffed animals
and pre-school friends
and occasionally Dad
who sometimes finally gave in
to the daily invitations you’d send

You wanted so badly to grow wings and fly
and you cried when you found out
those wishes would never come true

Sidewalk silhouettes
chalked
From Jamie’s house to ours
and you and Jamie
traffic jamming the street
with your battery-powered cars

It seemed those days would last forever

Countless hours of never-ending,
no-hands pogo-sticking
and forever hoola-hooping
until something else of wonder caught your eye
The driveway littered with vestiges
and echoes of fun outgrown

The waggling of lights
on Summer nights
from flashlight tag
and squeals of laughter
and trampolining
rain or shine
until your throat parched
and your legs burned

Now faded
Swept away by the winds of change

We would search the city
for the perfect
tree-climbing branches
from where you would stair-step up
and perch
and hang from
and smile ...
it all looked so easy

And those beautiful Mako Island mermaids
who would converge in the backyard
to swim with you in our pool.
You searched and researched
the Internet
and mixed concoctions
and chanted spells
that would grow you a tail
and let you breathe water
and again you were crushed
when you found out
that these wishes, too,
would never come true

I wish we had learned together
just one song on guitar
that I would’ve paused
just long enough
to help that wish be realized

Hair-braiding in the hot tub
and Mario Brothers on the Wii
and ear piercing with your friends
and college touring with Dad
and learning to drive
up at Grossmont College

Now, all lost, washed away
With the tears of time

Your world expanded
house by house,
street by street,
neighborhood by neighborhood
to across the seas

And along the way,
you learned what to keep
and what to let fall away

Where’d that time go?
Where did you go?

I miss those years of wonderment
And what all those years really meant
Safe places,
safe times,
safe life
Safe to feel safe
in the midst of the night
Now gone ...

In these words and in my heart
I want to see again
The girl with the wonder in her eyes
The girl who dared wish
for her wishes to come true

The secret places
where your tears go
He sees
He wants to meet you there
and hold you quietly
until the anger eases

Still your racing mind
Please know
The Hand of God gently rests on you
and glides down to your hand
to guide you through
these barren times
where the wonder has faded
and bring you to a place
where wishes do come true
and life is safe again
to wish for and see
the wonder of these days

He too wants so much
to see again
the girl
For her to see again
with her eyes
the wonder all this world is
the wonderment He brings
the wonder that never fades

My dear sweet Nalani D -
I love you
So, so much
You are a wonder to behold
And I miss you dearly
I miss the girl with the wonder in her eyes

The Two Trees

        Once, there were two trees.  They stood side by side on a wind-blown bluff, high above the sea. 

 

        One of the trees was tall, and sturdy, and silent.  Its branches were strong, and full of healthy green leaves that painted the skies with white clouds and soaring sea gulls.  Its leaves shaded the earth beneath it with vast cool shadows.  Birds built nests amongst the limbs of the tree, knowing they were safe from any storm that might bluster through.

 

        The other tree was short and naggly.  It always leaned on a 45-degree angle, whether the gales were gusting in or not.  Its branches were thin and brittle and twisted.  Leaves grew in splotches upon the tree’s arms, offering no protection, or relief, from the ever-changing coastal climate.

 

        Though these two trees were once seeds from the very same acorn and had watched each other grow from saplings, they were as different as any two trees could be.

 

        The naggly tree liked, so very much, the salt-smelling ocean breezes that dampened its bark and tickled its twigs with wisps of mists while the sea tried in vain to cool the hot, inland deserts.  The tree would stretch forth towards the shoreline, to gather in all that whistled through.

 

        At night, when the stars shown bright, or when the full moon cast tic-tac-toe shadows beneath its branches, the tree would stare up in wonder, and wish it, too, could touch the sky, like the tree alongside it.

 

        On those special evenings, when the sunset would light the sea on fire, the tree leaned further still, to pay homage to the beauty of another splendorous day.

 

        All in all, the tree loved life.  But, still, it paled in comparison to its brother that quietly towered over the tree.  The naggly tree wondered why the two had grown so differently.  The question began to gnaw at its circles, until the tree was consumed with the unfairness of it all.

 

        Finally, the naggly tree could stand it no longer.  It asked the tall sturdy tree why it had grown so high, and massive, while the naggly tree had become so stunted, and gnarled.

 

        The giant, broad tree, soaring above the other, at first, remained quiet.  It looked down, with love, upon the naggly tree, so sparse, and so crippled.  It knew that the naggly tree loved life, yet felt so inadequate. 

 

At length, the first tree said, “Your branches reflect your roots.  Send your roots deep, and watch what happens.”  And, that was all the tree said.

 

The naggly tree thought long and hard about these words, spoken by the tall tree.  Finally, the naggly tree decided that the first tree must be right; that this is how life was meant to be lived.

 

And, so, the naggly tree focused, not on the sea breezes, nor on the stars or moon, nor on the rising sun, with all the beauty these things brought.  No, the tree focused on pushing its roots deep, to find its true purpose, and to realize its fullest potential.

 

Lo, and behold, in time, the naggly tree grew tall, and mighty, like its brother by its side.  And the tree found, in its quiet peace, that the ocean breezes still found their way to him, that the moon and stars swayed within its branches, and that the glory of every sunrise illuminated all of what the tree was.

 

And, in the end, two trees stood, side-by-side, high above the sea; both tall, and sturdy, and silent.

 

 

 

Thanks, Gordy, for teaching me to send my roots deep.

“Writers’ Corner” Comes to DePortola Middle School!

It ended with families encircling the extinguishing flicker-flames from the earlier bonfires that engulfed both pits. Laughter and afterglow and the scent of roasting marshmallows drifted through the dimming twilight while the cool, cloudy nighttime sidled in.  Teens, little kids, and moms all smiled broadly and swayed to the movement of the music.   Dads approvingly basked in the warmth of the moment.

The evening had been perfect!  The gathering began with subs and sandwiches and games on the sand spit across from Humphreys-by-the-Bay.  The “Writers Corner” Open Mic Night crescendoed into a forever-to-be-remembered celebration of stirring stories and sunset sonnets read by the students from De Portola Middle School.  Through a cold, breezy Wednesday school night, the magic descended upon the Shelter Island fire pits.  Parents, siblings, and friends settled themselves on beach blankets or camping chairs, nestled up to the warm invitation offered by the flames pirouetting into the night sky.  Shadows danced upon glimmering eyes of rapt listeners, the lights of downtown twinkling and winking in the background.  The microphone enunciated distinctive experiences, fictitious or true or both, from kids they had known their whole lives.   Through pieces penned authentic, riveting, and sometimes hilarious, the young writers shared their deepest selves in verse, personal accounts, tragedy, and sagas.  The audience sat mesmerized!

 

“I enjoy ‘Writers’ Corner’ because I get a time to let my ideas flow. ‘Writers’ Corner’ also gives me a time to meet new people and get closer to old friends. Going to ‘Writers’ Corner’ really helped me out of my comfort zone in sharing out, too! This was so fun! I really hope to join again!”  - Rayleen Stillwagon

 

“Writers’ Corner” began seventeen years earlier at Fremont Elementary School, now defunct and forgotten in the lengthy history of Old Town’s past.  The writing club continued at Benchley-Weinberger Elementary School in San Carlos and, now, De Portola Middle School in Tierrasanta.   Bill Patterson, author of the thrilling sea fantasy, The Rusted Lantern, recognized the need for young people to present their true selves in an evermore complex time they were continually entering.  Writing became a safe place for kids to look at themselves, in their world, whatever that was, however they chose.  What these students wrote was most often enlightening, for themselves and, even more so, for others.  The self-reflection revealed clarity to the writer, and often to the listeners.  Recognition of one another’s struggles and fears became a binding strength that created among these young and anxious islands of adolescence . . . a community, an anchorage, a haven, a writers’ corner.

 

“I would never get tired of ‘Writers' Corner.’ Before ‘Writers’ Corner,’ I had pages and pages of stories I kept to myself, as I was afraid to be critiqued on my work. It made me speak up, and feedback from my peers helped me improve my writing further. It was also my inspiration. Though I had past experiences and emotions that helped me form a story, I got ideas I had never even thought of before from others. It was like my safe place.”  - Blue Burkett

 

So “Writers’ Corner” continued each year, always creating a sense of wonderment that, most times, neither student nor family and friends ever saw coming.  Conversations too intimidating to enter suddenly and eloquently were detailed matter-of-factly, with true feelings and courage and candor.  Families and friends listened . . .  and heard.

 

“’Writers’ Corner’ was a very enjoyable and inspirational club for middle school students to share their work and advance in their literary skills. As an eighth grader, I was very inspired by our various guests and student readers. Seeing other students and adults who shared the same passion for writing was very encouraging for me to improve and continue to write my heart out. I was motivated to share my work and connect with others who continued to maintain a positive and encouraging attitude toward writing!"  - Julianne Sue

 

Through the dimming light of a calming evening, the chilling breeze finally stilled.  Moms and dads filed past the book author, whom, each year, had gathered precious upon precious memories from each writer, each individual, and this year, their child.  The parents all thanked Bill Patterson for a beautiful and memorable evening, and for giving their children a space to fully express themselves. 

 

“It amazed me every Monday when the students trickled in after a long school day.  I kept asking myself, ‘Why do they return?’ Finally, I realized that they felt valued, inspired, and listened to.   I was able to apply in my classroom some of the techniques used by Bill and his guest, spoken-word artist Lindsey Dominguez.  ‘Writers’ Corner’ reminded me to never forget that every child has a story and it’s our job as teachers to find ways to give them a voice. They all have a little flickering flame inside that just needs to be fanned.                                                                                - Erica Soto-Nauta, host teacher

 

And, one by one, the students said good-bye.  Before they disappeared into the rest of their lives, each would ask the same question: 

“When can we do this again?”   

The Rusted Lantern Audio Book in Progress

This adventure of creating and publishing The Rusted Lantern continues to get better and better!  Brian Babb, legendary San Diego spoken word artist, recently began recording the vocals for the audio version of the book.  Brian was a founding member of The Long Hairz folk band and regularly performed with the famed Freedom Writers from the University of California at San Diego.  He also appeared on-stage with Will I Am of The Black-Eyed Peas.  Brian found huge Internet success through his much-publicized email debates with Vice President Al Gore regarding the legitimacy of hip hop as a viable expression by today's youth.  Brian has been a guest performer on several CD's, music videos, and audio books for many well-known musicians and authors, including Shammy D, Joe Reilly, and Vejae Jennings.  Brian most recently was featured at the Earthwork Harvest Festival in Lake City, Michigan.

Look for the Preface page from The Rusted Lantern to soon appear on the therustedlantern.com website in audio form!

A Few Words of Gratitude

Interest in The Rusted Lantern remains high in Month Two!  I am honored and humbled by all the phone calls, texts, emails, and postings that continue to come my way ...  Thanks for sharing the book with your family and friends!  I am also excited to see more reviews appear on Amazon.com!  Thank you for taking time to read the book and write the positive comments!